i agree that working in a bar is not a good situation for someone who needs to address alcohol issues. My A worked as a bartender, and before he finally got sober, over the years he worked minimal shifts at a bar, so he could drink, having clear access to booze everyday.
Also, the time that he worked there, he did get so bad at times, that he wanted to seek help. I actually witnessed people who frequented the place, and other employees actively sabotage his efforts. They ridiculed him, derailed him. They did not want to see their star drinking buddy get sober. He was too good of a life of the party to let go.
It is hard to realize that your relationship is unhealthy and that it is not something that you cannot change or control on your own.
You cannot do anything for him.
You have no control over what he does, what he says, how he treats himself.
You DO have control over what you choose, what you do, what you allow yourself to be exposed to or whether you stay in a relationship that feels bad for you.
I guess you could start by weighing out how much you want to invest.
If he does not see a problem enough to get help, you may need to take some space and think things through.
you deserve happiness and health