thank you for your replies. I am still putting things away, arranging things, making piles of things to give away and the purging feels so good! i love the idea of finding homes for hte things i brought with me that don't fit or come from my "other life" and they will be "reassigned" to someplace new. My couch is way to large for this space so I will give it to my daughter and she needs it and will enjoy it. I will get a new one, that is more suited to this little space and my kitties and I. something soft and comfy and girly. I have my dolls and little "toys" and even a few stuffed animals i've held onto. it is nice to feel like i'm in a little dollhouse that i can decorate any way i want and as playful. I know it will take time to heal and that i will settle in and the time will come where I will miss my AH but, so far, i'm all set with the chaos, the worry and feeling bad about myself because of someone else's demons. I like no longer being to blame for another's anger and always worrying if i'm going to "set things off" by saying something "wrong". it is nice to not have that hanging over my head all the time. what a relief!! i found some papers i wrote while putting my things away and it was sad for me to think that i felt so responsible for making AH so angry and I see now that his anger was out of proportion because of his own stuff, not me!! how could i have taken that on? thank goodness i don't have to do that anymore! I feel so lucky and I'm pretty excited about the journey i'm on! it'll be my first winter in many years...and i bet it'll be beautiful from up here in this little "perch" of mine in the treetops!