Hello,
In my home when my mom and AF separated then divorced my mom had rules. My mom was there when my dad picked us up. She would not allow us to go with my father if she knew he had been drinking. We were younger than your son, I was 11 when they divorced and I am the oldest of four. My mom would even offer him coffee and to sit for a while to sober up even to spend time with us at our house and she would go out so that is was time with just him. Her biggest concern was him drinking and driving with us. I have so much respect for my mom for how she would try to handle it. It did get ugly at times with arguing and name calling but we were safe. I really wish my mom would have had us go to something like Alateen but it was not as available back then. She also stopped going to Alanon after she split from my dad thinking that everything was ok now because he was gone. I am just saying that when it comes to children I really do not think it is easy to navigate through this. Do you have any Alateen meetings in your area. I have been taking my 17 year old daughter every Monday while I am at Alanon. She was a bit reluctant at first but this will be her 3rd week going. She has now started talking to my RAH again and does not have as much anger and confusion. I think teenagers relate so much better with other teens than with a adult counselor at times.