Crystal226:
I heard my own voice in your letter and it brought tears to my eyes. I am so sad for you and for myself.
I could've written the same letter. It is like looking into the future three years from now when I will still be on this crazy merry-go-round and roller coaster ride at an amusement park!
I am so scared that my marriage is over and your letter has brought out so many painful memories and emotions. The feelings of detachment. I am not able to detach w/ out completely letting go and I have begun to detach and it scares me to death that I may also no longer be in love with my husband. I know for sure the trust is gone and has died.
I try not to see him as this awful manipulative person but just a very sick man w/ a horrible disease but it is hard sometimes. Today he is doing his all to make the best Thanksgiving Day yet by giving me money telling me to go to Costco buy the best turkey and ham and begin buying gifts for Xmas and I feel that it is almost too late because he is trying I guess and now all his efforts are possibly a waste of time and too late as I have btdt. It literally breaks my heart. You are not alone.