"My phone was dead!"
after listening to his and a friends conversation for 20 minutes about how high they were, when he accidently answered.
"I wasn't asleep! I was just resting my eyes."
after i'd been repeating his name to wake up.
"I'm going to get help tomorrow."
"Fifty dollars are missing from my room. My mom took it all."
Him: "I just threw up."
Me: "Why?"
Him: "I don't know. I don't feel good.. come hold me baby."
Yaaa BS! Thanks for telling me you've been taking those stupid opiates again.
Him: "I might as well be using since everyone already thinks I am!!!"
Man, reading all his pathetic lies and manipulations makes me really really angry at him. Which is exactly what I need.