I should know better
Well, it has come to this. I am new to this forum and I am about as low feeling as ever. I have been dating a man for 1 1/2 years and it has been the 'scariest' sp? roller coaster ride I have ever been on. We date then we don't.....why????
alcohol. He drinks daily. Does landscaping and lawncare (self-employed) and always has a plastic cup with a drink in it. (does this working or not). He stops at drive-thru to buy one super size drink - like a qrt of Zima or whatever when he runs out.
He is a kind giving thoughtful, great conversationalist when not drunk... whenever that is. I love him but I am hurting BAD. I have lost my job recently and they are repo-ing my car any day. Today I have .77 and waiting for check to arrive Thur.
I do go out to bars and such to talk to people and I do drink. Not today on .77 cents. I live alone with my dog and cat. I get bored and don't know what to do and crave human contact. I never drink alone. Never drink bymyself. By the time he is done working he is slurring his words... he keeps an old fiance' at bay and she is constantly on his caller id along with other woman. When I confront him he says "girl you keep leaving me for the bars. do you expect me to not see a woman?"
He says he loves and adores me and if I commit to him he will quit it all. I tell him that having a constant contact with an ex-fiance' hurts bad and he has absolutly nothing to say about that except.... 'go to the bar, bar fly'. I have not been with another man in almost a year. I never go to the bars unless he starts abusing me mentally. I tell him I do not trust him. He says "let's quit drinking, get married and move out of town". In my heart, I know this isn't right. He was in the Rangers when he was younger and I don't know.....
I'm just very, very, sad - lonely and confused. He just talked to me and said "wah wah, all you do is cry" "you are always whining" "it's all about you! always my fault"
HELP