Originally Posted by
FindingPeace1 
You are a sweet person. We all (every one of us) see the potential of our mates. That's why we picked them. I love my AH dearly. He is fabulous (when he's not drinking, hiding it from me, lying about it, and freaking out that I am implying he has a problem).
Unfortunately, us wanting them to "get it" and realize anything is us trying to control them (even if its for good!).
And I would add to that:
Unfortunately, us wanting them to 'get it' and realize anything is us trying to control them (even if its for good!), and it DOESN'T WORK!!! I've tried for three years- many of these lovely folks on this forum have tried for 3, 5, 10, 20 years to convince their A's that they need to acknowledge and deal with their problems and it SIMPLY DOESN'T WORK. The A has to come to that conclusion on his/her own. Do you want to wait around for your BF to finally realize that he's got a problem?
While all of the folks here on F&F have incredibly useful suggestions/thoughts/idea, etc., I think you would really benefit from reading some of NoAlcoholToday's posts- really, really eye-opening, honest stuff.
Listen to your inner voice! And keep reading and posting!! These folks are lifesavers!
Good luck, hon!
craven