You're still left with what you have now. Is it what you want?
LaTeeDa,
I feel as if I should send your therapist money, or you.
LOL
Woman, you are good.
Thank you for being here.
and
brokenheartfool,
my ex and i both drank together, avoided any emotional connection and still had two children together.
i got sober, waited for him to "get it" for a while, then the crack killed any chance of making an emotional connection with him.
alcohol saved me from making a connection and therefore (i thought) getting hurt.
alcohol saved me from experiencing much joy in my life, even with my children.
that is difficult to admit, but it is true.
for me there was no connection except to the numbness.
Beth