A light went on in my head when you mentioned that you were seeing a "marriage counsellor". To me, that counsellor is trying to pave the way for the relationship to solidify once more. She may be an awesome person, but her goal seems clear: save the marriage. I don't know that she's factoring in the addiction your AH is dealing with.
1 tiny month of sobriety is nothing in the lifetime journey that is *recovery*. I agree with dollydo...what's the rush? If the relationship is meant to be, then 6 months or ideally a year of sobriety + active participation in a recovery program before even considering reconciliation. Your instinct to protect your children from more back and forth is bang on; they need stability and 1 measley month of sobriety (as a mere bargaining card to get you to come home) isn't going to give them that.
IMO, you're right. "quitting" isn't enough...