There's probably a lot of reasons why we do...unresolved childhood stuff, we're people pleasers, we're nice/doormats, etc. It's going to take a while to figure it out, for me. But I have time. I'm not going to date for a while and just take some time to get myself back (but better).
And, I've found that having strong mentors to look at and think "what would they do?" helps me. As crazy as it sounds, I get some of that from watching shows on TV like the "Real Housewives of Atlanta/New Jersey/wherever...."...not sure if you get those shows in S. Africa, but there are some sassy women on there who would never put up with bad treatment...I love that and need to realize that it's ok to have it be all about me for once!! What happened to my sassiness?? That woman is in me somewhere!!
I also love the inspirational quotes on here too (I've been lurking on this site for awhile).