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Old 11-17-2010, 05:05 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Phoenixthebird
Rising from the Ashes
 
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 451
The number one way my dry drunk husband's way of invalidating me was by completely ignoring me. There were times I wondered if he was deliberately trying to drive me crazy. I have never once heard him thank God that I was still alive! Instead I have heard him say "If we didn't have bad luck, we wouldn't have any luck.

Other ways he would invalidate me was by dictating to me not to feel the way I felt, tell me that I was too sensitive or too "dramatic", judge me, and led me to believe there was something wrong with me for feeling how I felt.

All invalidation is a form of psychological attack. When I was attacked, my survival instinct would tell me to defend myself either through withdrawal or counter-attack. Repeated withdrawal tended to decrease my self-confidence and lead to a sense of powerlessness and depression. Going on the offensive often escalated the conflict.

One of his favorite ways of invalidating me was by asking "What about me?"!

But that was yesterday! It is liberating to know my feelings are REAL! And that I'm NOT going crazy!

"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present"

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