DMC

I don't mean to be a downer, but...

You know, for all we feel like "The Talk" is going to change something, it never did for me. I had several. I wrote letters. I emailed. I practically shouted it from the rooftops.

He never heard me.

It wasn't until I did The Walk, as it were, that he realized it was indeed a serious problem. He gave it lip service up until then, but it wasn't until he couldn't come home anymore that he actually GOT it. And it took quite a bit of time after leaving, actually.

I hear he's sober now. I hear he's actually in recovery and has a job. Too bad it couldn't have come while I still cared. Our divorce will be final in, lemme check, 16 days. But if that's what it took to get him to "hear," I had to do it.

Be strong. Do what's right for you. Living like that sure isn't anything I'd ever go back to, even though my life sounded a lot like yours. (But less yelling, probably. Mine never yelled. Slurred, sulked, ignored moreso)


PS. FWIW, I take care of many patients who are nearing end-of-life. There are a lot of issues there, but honestly, prescription pain medication abuse isn't as big a one as one might think. Sure there are some out there, but the bigger grief-denial-anger dying issues often overshadow everything, and if someone isn't coping, lashing out can be an unfortunate, but common problem. When my pain patients (the ones with real pain) start worrying, I talk to them about certain behaviors that are worrisome. Tolerance isn't; knocking over convenience stores, now that's a problem. Sorry about the aside. (And while I'm at it, there are other common medications that can also affect personality and coping - it might have been something else altogether.)