Detaching - Dangers
Hi everyone here,
My wife is an alcoholic who has not yet taken serious steps to recovery. Life for me and my two daughters (5 and 15) is pretty rough as she knocks herself out quite regularly with Vodka and wine from hidden source. She has some other complications (Manic depression/Bulimia).
I just joined the forum having stumbled across a post a couple of months ago through which I discovered Co dependent No More. I wept openly though the first few chapters, my own emotional discovery I suppose.
I was subsequently able to recognise my own behaviour, know where I was in the Grief cycle, and, more importantly detach. I was completely able to detach with love. Through my detachment I was able to find some serenity. I think I floated on air the first few days.
My AW didn’t react that well (Beattie predicts this of course). To cut a long story short, she attempted suicide (Vodka and Risperidone) she claimed we didn’t need her anymore. I now feel I am in a position where detachment is not an option. This is of course classic Co-Dependence: the belief that one is responsible for the Addicts fate in the literal sense.
But this was very real. I stood by the crash cart in the ER for 6 hours that day.
She is now in the (supposedly) best rehab centre in the country. Nine days in and was going well until I got a call today that she had sneaked to the store to get a bottle of wine. They are letting her stay, luckily.
I feel I cannot move, all the positive stuff I took from Co Dependent No More now seems undermined and unachievable. Living from day to day and wondering just how much lower can everything go.
Yours...