OK, I read a bit. ... NO WAY! it feels to me like he only wants to gather ammunitions, to know what "they" are going to be feeding you there in terms of tools and information.
It feels controlling.
Alanon is for you. Maybe, just go to one without telling him, tell him you are going to the grocery, to see a frined, to a coffeshop. Then go to your meeting.
I would NOT feel safe with my A at an alanon meeting with me.