Originally Posted by
Thumper 
Now that we are apart I really can detach. I really don't care if he has the last word or if he doesn't understand. It doesn't matter in my life. I can really let it go. I no longer have resentment and wow - what a difference. I am also learning how to not ignore myself, my needs, my life. I don't mean my need to have an afternoon off. I mean my inner or mental self. My thoughts, my feelings, my need for security, my emotions etc. I didn't even know what those were any longer.
Same is true for me, once I was able to get some distance and breathing room (not under the same roof) my mental clarity, and ability to make good decisions for myself and my daughter, came back fairly quickly.
There are women in my Alanon group who still live with active alcoholism, I couldn't/wouldn't do it. Life is too short.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote