Hi breakingglass
I am an alcoholic of 12 years standing. I sometimes come over to this side of the forum to get an insight into how everyone around me might be thinking and feeling about my recovery. I hope you wont mind me commenting on some of your situation from my personal experiences
Originally Posted by
breakingglass 
when i married him he drank, beer... but now its straight vodka?
My word he has moved fast. I remember many years ago saying to one of my buddies (haha) that I couldn't seem to get drunk anymore. His response was "well you need to get onto vodka then - and try it on an empty stomach too!"
It may actually be a good thing that he has moved onto vodka so fast - he may be that much nearer to the point of getting so sick of alcohol and the hold it has taken over him that he will be able to initiate some recovery for himself. Please dont hold your breath. Today I am 9 days sober and I found an email last night that I sent to AA asking for their help, dated July 2009.
Originally Posted by
breakingglass i do love my husband but he is so far beyond any help i can give him and i am lost as to what i should do next. and i think it irritates the life out of me that i must be the one to initiate him getting help.....?
It is critical that you realise at a very early stage that it is HE who must initiate his own help. Otherwise you could be in for repeating relapses indefinitely. He will never overcome this demon because YOU need him to, he will need to make peace with his demons when he is good and ready
Originally Posted by
breakingglass i'm going to end up being the one who needs help.?
I looks to me like you could already do with plenty of support and you have found a really good place here at SR.
May I also suggest you have a look at the "alcoholics" side of the forum as well if you can find time -- there are some VERY uplifting examples where recovering alcoholics are coming out the other side of all this mess.
Whatever the case, YOU need to take care of YOU and this is as good a place as any to start.