I don't want to make him feel worse about himself, but at the same time, I think he needs to face up to the pain he causes others when he makes poor choices.
He knows, I promise you he knows, but the think is addiction is bigger than his good intentions. That's how addiction works.
Your post here really touched my heart, because I remember many times when my son was in rehab (he was in several over the years) hoping he would grab on to recovery and embrace it and then feeling so disappointed when he messed up and did stupid things.
I too lost grandkids when the mamas walked away, and I know how that hurts too.
The think is, I found myself living as "director" of his life, thinking I knew what was best for him and frustrated that he wouldn't listen. It was at one of my meetings back then, when someone said "How would you like someone directing your life?" and I realized that I wasn't God and that I was truly powerless over his life choices...even the bad ones.
Stepping back, letting go of the need to try and control the outcome was the only way I could get back my sanity. Thinking I had any control over his life was an illusion.
So, today I say a prayer each morning and give his care over to God. And then I live my day well, as life intended me to, and see the beauty in each one.
Keeping your boy in my prayers too, and you also. It's very hard to be the mom of an addict.
Hugs