Originally Posted by
Phoenixthebird 
I was in intensive care for about one month at the beginning of the year, and and almost died. I have no memory of this chunk of time. It was literally through the Grace of God that I survived. My doctors can not medically provide an explanation as how I survived. When I became conscious again my awareness rose. I suffered self-esteem damage as a result of my illness. As a result, I began to notice to notice the invalidation. The invalidation took and continues to take its toll on me.
You know, every time I read your story, I am reminded of a seminar I took a couple of years ago. The presenter had been in a car crash and spent four months in the hospital recovering. She described it as a "beautiful experience." She explained that it had changed her life and her focus and made her realize what a precious gift life is.
I think you have been given the same gift. A not-so-subtle reminder that life is precarious, and fragile, and uncertain. A second chance, so to speak. What will you do with this gift? How will you spend the limited days you have left in this world?
One of the things that helped me let go of trying to control my AH was the realization that, if actuarial tables are correct, I have more days behind me than I do in front of me. I could choose to squander more of my precious life trying to control him, or I could grab onto life with both hands and live whatever life I have left with gusto and passion.
What will you choose to do with the gift that has been handed you?
L