Goldengirl:
I am so sorry that you had to go thru this with your mother and later in life your xabf. I am too dealing w/ my AH and ask myself the same questions. Why would he rather go into the garage on a Saturday night and drink himself under the table instead of spending time w/ his wife talking to me, making love to me. Why?
I have no idea how a mother could put anything or anyone before her child. I could never do it but I know people who have. My own husband is doing it w/ beer, wine and vodka. He does it to me and to our two small children and the pain is becoming agonizing as I feel as though I am waking up from this nightmare and need to act.
Again, I am so sorry I pray for peace for you.
Be well!