I am sad today.
I am generally upbeat from day to day. Unless there is a lot of drama in my life.
My mother's sister emailed me earlier today. She was complaining of how her step-daughter's husband has chosen his girlfriend over their children when visiting in town for the weekend. He is an alcoholic and very severly depressed and also has very little interest in his kids. She couldn't get over how a parent could choose a girlfriend over their child.
It made me think and remember. My mother used to run the bars and sleep with lots of men. She used to bring them home and I had to listen to it all night. I remember going to school tired from not being able to sleep from all their noises. And I felt like crap because no one cared that I could hear everything or that I was being exposed to s*x at a young age. She even once moved a man from prison in the house. My father called my mother and told her to choose because he didn't want me living with the man...she chose the man from prison and so I moved in with my dad. When she didn't get her child support check, she called my dad and asked for me to move back in. My aunt lived in town and is a self-proclaimed enabler. She told me that my mother needed her own life and that I needed to mind my own business.
I wrote her back today and gently said, "Yeah I know how that feels...." She didn't seem to like that.
And then I started to think too much.
Why do people choose alcohol over the people they are supposed to care about? Why do people even years later refuse to take responsiblilty for how they treat others? Why do some people never seem to see the pain they cause in others? Why does life sometimes have to be that way.
Why did my mother choose those things over me? Why did my aunt always rescue her? And why did my ex choose alcohol over me and at one time his ex-wife?
I don't expect anything from anyone here. I just wanted to rant.
Share whatever you want and distract me please.