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Old 11-16-2010, 02:30 PM
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LaTeeDa
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Originally Posted by sassyea View Post
He doesnt' see that his drinking destroys his family?!? That it destroys our marriage.
Probably not. As unfathomable as it seems, I believe alcoholics think they are not hurting anyone but themselves. And that is their choice--their right. In conversations I've had with my ex since he got sober, he's told me this.

What's more, nothing you say or do will make him "see."

Also, about your mother telling you to "fight for your family." My mother was of the same thought process. In her generation it was a disgrace to be divorced. That kind of conditioning led to all kinds of issues for me, including feeling like a failure because my marriage ended. The truth is, you can "fight" for it all you want, but one person cannot save a marriage. It takes two.

I hope you will get yourself some support that is truly supportive. Whether it be Alanon or a counselor who understands addiction and codependence, or both or something else. You don't have to do this all alone.

L
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