SteppingUp,
Let me just say thank you for reminding my gut just how bad it was to grow up with an alcoholic parent. Nasty bitch that she is. Oh....pardon me....so sorry....I meant to refer to my father, nasty bitch that he was. I can't tell you how sick your post made me because it just brought back so many memories and the anger is one of them. Thank you for that, because I have been working on this anger of mine and now I think I know where it originates.
I agree with everything Coyote said above and would like to add that IMO as nasty and evil as she acts toward you, I can guarantee she acts more nasty and more evil towards the children for the simple fact that she can--they are LITTLER than you.
I'm not going to feel sorry for your kids because as an ACOA feeling sorry for people has only ever gotten me into trouble. So I am trying to change that about myself. But let me just say also that 16 is HARD ENOUGH without some drunken a$$hole grabbing you by the face and challenging you to fight. Plus, there may be some mental health issues he is suffering from that you don't know about, that result from living with an alcoholic parent.
Please call the DV people as Coyote suggested. Just because you are someone's parent does not give you the RIGHT be physically abusive. Just because it happens in the family home, to a child, and not on Saturday night in a bar downtown, to a stranger, does not mean it is not ILLEGAL.