Thank you all so much! Your responses are so insightful. Once again proving the power of the group!
Yes, I'm going to Al Anon meetings whenever I can. Usually winds up being once a week. Codie me, hasn't told W that I'm going to meetings. I don't really know the best way to bring it up. I guess I'm trying to get the tools to deal with the $#!% storm that will follow. It's like I've got to get to the place where I can walk out (which I would never do to my kids) before I can just tell her that I don't like who she becomes when she drinks.
My son is 16 and I've spoken with him a number of times about what's going on in his life and in his head. He's open with me but always tells me that things are OK. I've stopped short of saying, "Gee do you think you feel this way because mom drinks?"
Thank you Bernadette, I agree that we should allow no one to push us around. If there is a next time, I'll include the statement that there will be no violence in our house. That's a very empowering statement that calls the action exactly what it is. Violence.
These are confusing times. Thank you all for your caring, support and wisdom.