How old is he? Maybe you could take him to an alateen meeting. Do you go to alanon? Sorry if you've already said. If alateen isn't available or if he isn't old enough, maybe counseling would help?
I'm trying really hard to be a better parent too. Awareness and making small goals for myself help. It was super hard when my active alcoholic husband was in the same house. It made parenting so difficult. I was not as 'healthy' then either as I had no recovery at that time. I created more difficulty then he did probably. Things are getting better but it requires constant awareness and willingness to try and make positive changes. I still can't touch on the inner feelings of my children, even though I've done a ton of reading and think I have some understanding. I'm getting them a counselor.
I'll be watching the thread for some wisdom!