breakingglass

Hi, i am new here. i dont' really know where to start. my husband of only three years is an alcoholic. when i married him he drank, beer. and he would stop at the neighborhood bar after work and have a few. i didn't care because i was there with him as we both hung around with the same people. but after i got married i had no desire to go to bars. neither did he as a matter of fact. but now its straight vodka that he drinks. he becomes very verbal and nasty and has even lashed out at my 75 year old mother. he doesn't remember the next day how horrible he was and then cries about it. now he hides the bottles all over the garage. he's been laid off of work for almost 2 years now and i think that may be the reason he has been drinking much heavier. i fear for his health and for my own. i work every day, plus i do the bills, the shopping, the cooking, the laundry, the cleaning, etc... i do it all. while he sits around all day, every day drinking. and when i come home he is too drunk or tired to even eat dinner with me. my sex life is non existant and we do not even sleep in the same room. we have only been married 3years.... this can't be normal. i cry every day and i have threatened to leave several times but i just can't do it. i can't do it financially nor can i walk out on him. he is so needy and so pathetic. i do love my husband but he is so far beyond any help i can give him and i am lost as to what i should do next. and i think it irritates the life out of me that i must be the one to initiate him getting help..... its so hard to have to do all that i do now plus i have to be the one to make that happen and i'm just too darn tired to add any more stress on my plate. did i mention that i am going through menopause and have severe hot flashes and nightsweats? at night they are so bad that my dr put me on sleeping pills. also i have a sister who is depressed and sinking lower and lower and she calls me crying and all down and just don't know how to help her either. i feel like everyone looks to me to lean on but all of this is breaking my back. i'm going to end up being the one who needs help. can i see past all of that and feel happy and content within my own self? i'm just so tired of looking out for everyone else. when is somebody going to take care of me? do i sound selfish?