hi Lost and WELCOME to SR. I'm sorry your path has been so difficult, but I'm glad it lead you here to SR. It's a great place to find support.
I second (or third?) the suggestion that you find an Al-Anon meeting in your area. There's nothing like getting face to face support from people who've been exactly where you are. Also, I suggest individual counselling, only because it was my life-saver when I felt my whole world was falling apart around me. Once or twice a week, I'd have a whole hour, to myself, with my counsellor, to cry, to rage, to share...it did me a world of good.
I think your instincts are bang on here: how long can you realistically continue to "save" your wife from herself? Is there a point where you begin to realize that you do NOT control her addiction, and ultimately, you do not control whether or not she chooses to kill herself by drinking.
I suggest that you leave your wife to her remote detox in the middle of nowhere and focus on yourself, on your 4 beautiful children. They NEED you to be healthy and happy, so you can care for them. If you have family and friends you can reach to, perhaps for a few hours of babysitting, or a nice cup of tea and some "normal" conversation, please do so.
And please do not hesitate to come back here to read and post as much as you life. SR is always open.