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Old 11-16-2010, 07:55 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
brokenheartfool
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
It's hard to not let them get to you, isn't it. I sympathize. Been there, done that, got the tshirt.
These words can be quite painful, and we can feel so much stress from them.
It's judgment on our hearts, it's manipulation, it's the way to get to the core of us and hurt us there.
The pain I felt from these careless words thrown around so easily during my divorce was similar to yours.
It felt to me as if the drinker chose to purposely and maliciously try to get to my heart, and cause me pain.
Recognize this--they are feeling their own pain, and most likely--those 8 messages were sent under the influence--which makes it so easy for them to carelessly throw these words around.
So couple their own real pain with alcohol--and the result is those messages.
I think you will feel better if you think about it in the light of that they too are feeling pain, and they don't know how to deal with it any other way but destructively. Feel sorry for him? Yeah, actually. Feel sorry that he never developed greater communication skills than the type on those messages. If he had, you wouldn't be where you are today.

Recognize it's insanity. Then redirect your energy to the light of sanity. Easier said than done, but you can do it. Withdrawal yourself from the madness. Remember there's a sane world out there awaiting your participation, and it will welcome you...put your faith there. Better days are to come...sane days.
You know a world is out there without the madness. Take a deep breath and remember you are on a path to that better world. The path may still be muddy at this point, but it will be an easier walk when this divorce is over.
You're not out of the woods yet--but you're on your way!
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