My husband is an alcoholic.
I have dealt with this for four years and I am so happy I found this website as I need it as a lifeline. I am under extreme stress. My grandmother who is like a mother is in a rest home dying from Alzheimer's. My own mother is emotionally unavailable to provide support. DH's parents live in Europe and arent' physically able to offer guidance or relief.
I have two boys, soon to be 3 yrs old and 19 mos old. On Saturday my DH and i spent a lovely day sailing in California. The weather was perfect. I had a glass of wine and turned in early as I normally do w/ two babies 16 mos apart both under 3 years. I wakeup at midnight to find DH not on the boat. Thank God we are docked in our berth in the marina. I suddenly hear screaming at 1AM. It is DH outside the Marina docks in the parking lot. Nearly 30 feet away and I can hear him screaming. I call 911 as I believe someone has attacked him. Long story short he is drunk beligerant and out of control. He is taken to the hospital was restrained. He went to an area bar prior to hospitalization and drank hard liquor on top of three bottles of wine. I was stuck on the boat w/ new way out as my husband has the gate key and mine is at our home not w/ me on the boat.
I am stuck on a boat unable to get off w/ our small children. i have to wait till sunrise to yell for someone to come and physically help me and my children off of the boat.
Today I am ready to leave him. I have been put in jail for hitting him two years ago. Numerous degrading arguments broken glass and me now a complete nervous wreck on anti-depressants and writing this post w/ diarrhea. My mother thinks I should stay and I am unable to financially raise two boys in this economic climate. I am scared either way but have no peace in my home. I am having chest pains, suffer from high blood pressure too and need to live for my children. I do not know what to do anymore because I do not know what normal or functional is. I need help, support and advice. I want to leave and I believe I can no longer stay w/ this in my life. I want to help him but I know that he is sick and probably will never change.
I have been here before the crying, the begging and the pleading.