Hey
I'm sitting here with tears running down my face. Your post touched me so deeply. The reality of losing Travis is sinking in.....and your pain is being felt full throttle. I wish that I could take and carry some of that pain for you but I know that it is not possible....I just wish it was.
All of the mother's here on SR realize that we could be walking in your shoes......and some are already walking the path. Where you are paralyzed with grief, those of us who have children in active addiction (or even in recovery) are often paralyzed with fear.
You remind me (daily because I think of you every single day) that regardless of whether my dear son is using or not using........I should thank God that he is alive....just for today......
Heroin is a thief......drugs are a thief.......even if we don't lose our loved ones to death, we lose them to this disease.
I know how very thankful you are for those two years that Travis was clean and sober. I promise (for you and for myself) that I will be thankful for each and every day that "S" is sober. This is the gift that you have given me......you have taught me how important it is to live and love for today.
gentle gentle gentle hugs for you today, tomorrow and every single day