Yes, you are all right. I think as you said I am still in the mode of trying to convince myself that he is an alcoholic and as you said, maybe he isn't. I also want to understand it more because I teach junior high and when we talk about genetics and the human body I want to have the right information to pass along. There are a few students I know of who have an alcoholic parent too. I used to think you had to be drunk everyday, lose your job and family, then be considered an alcoholic, so I have alot of catching up to do. And I am still codependent and stuck maybe. I need to take baby steps in the are of doing more for me, I am a mom, a teacher and was a wife of an alcoholic who takes care of everyone else and the majority of my days are spent doing that.