I'm having a bad day. Keep thinking about the XABF. I was just starting to do ok with not texting him when he texted me thursday asking me to call him cause he wanted to talk about some progress he had been making. I fell for it, so i called him. He mentioned how he had gone to see a counsellor and was going to go to an inpatient program this weekend. I'll admit i was very excited that he finally decided to go
We talked alot that night but i wish i hadn't. If anything, it depressed me. I could tell in his voice that he was incredibly depressed, but part of me also could hear some anger in his voice. I know hes mad because I left him, but he drove me away. He's also mad because his boss fired him. I was really happy when i heard he was let go from his job. I figured he'd finally hit rock bottom, but i realized today i was wrong.
He was supposed to check into inpatient rehab yesterday. I assumed he had because I hadnt heard from him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I should know now not to do that with alcoholics. Late last night while i was at work I got a text from his son's mother. She said she had called the clinic and he wasn't registered and she couldnt find him. Right after that his ex boss texted saying almost the same thing. And then a friend of his said she couldn't find him either. I had asked these people last week to please not contact me about my XABF because i was trying to move on. But i'm getting dragged in again. Now i'm worried about him. I wasn't worried for the past week
I feel like i have to start all over again!! Why can't everyone just leave me alone. I can't help him and i know that.
I care so much about my XABF, but i think i've hit my rock bottom with him finally. I feel stupid for believing his lie that he was going to treatment. I knew i shouldnt have gotten excited but i did. No more of that. I just hope someday I can trust others because after this relationship I don't think i can do it again.