With sincere pre-emptive apologies to the faithful, I'd like to also come out as a frustrated & angry agnostic/paralytic. Obviously, it's impossible to even approach supernatural business with any pretence of authority, but to me, the suggestion that some kind of transcendental moral order exists is almost offensive. I won't get all hot about the problem of evil, but the idea that children need suffer, from abuse, war, disaster, and diseases; that whole civilizations could be wiped out; that a particular few *this* world are due special consideration, and others not (including the historical millions who until very recently wouldn't have had the opportunity for Christian redemption), is just perverse.
I mean ok... maybe it makes sense in the context of some alien rationale, but if it does, man... the payoff had better be good.
I'd also like very much to believe in the higher self concept... and in my better moments, I verge upon it. I feel life is precious in and of itself. Given the statistical unlikelihood of animal life, of consciousness emerging in humans... what an amazing stroke of luck we have, if nothing else. And what a shame to waste it. (If something else... brilliant... would love to be a believer.)
My problem with the idea of a higher self - would
love correction, here - is that gut instinct doesn't always steer you right. (This is too often true in my case, yes; and for others, whose early lives have been sub-optimal, let's say.) I'm not sure instinct/the life force is ever free of culture, bias, and belief. (Have read a bunch on this - though far from enough! - I guess Malcolm Gladwell's summary of social psychology in
Blink is as good a place to point to as any.) I'm not sure where healthy guidance might come from... I think someone is lucky, if they happen to have been exposed to individuals, beliefs and institutions that broadly offer the supports we can mostly agree a 'good' human life requires.
I'd love to believe in self-empowerment, and free will... but, if causality holds, so does determination. (Neuropsychological studies seem to be showing that our brains 'know' we (our bodies) will do things before we do.) The only reasonable argument against determinism is randomness, which doesn't help in a discussion of free will, as we normally understand it.
I guess I'm a kind of fatalist, and a hypocrite, because I'm trying not to be.
In terms of the implications this has for 'getting better'? No idea. I look to studies (inasmuch as I'm able to concentrate), and try to keep a sceptical eye. And try to follow good feelings, in keeping with the higher self notion (and because, well, they feel good.... though of course this is a leap of faith...).
Pleased you were able to find a group that felt good
