Old 11-12-2010, 08:21 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Learn2Live
To thine own self be true.
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
jluebs (((hugs))) Hope you are doing okay. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Very smart girl for writing that letter!!! I am impressed!

Here is my feedback and advice. Please take what you like and leave the rest.

1. Acknowledge to yourself that this is not REALLY killing you. Thinking that way is called "awfulizing" and it makes things we need to be able to handle worse.
2. He is a drama queen who uses your goodhearted nature to get you to enable and baby him. He (and his alcoholism) thrives on the attention. Tell him that the next time he calls you with seizures you are going to hang up the phone and dial 911. Then do so. Then go take a nice, long bubble bath and/or curl up in bed with a book.
3. "I want my keys" is an emotional manipulation. He wants you to panic at the fear of "losing" him. Don't fall for it. Detach emotionally. If you do not know how to do this, you can learn it at Al-Anon. You can also Google "how to detach emotionally" and probably get some good information. The thing here is DO NOT drive those keys to him. If he wants his damn keys, he can drive the hour to get them and the hour back himself. This is also a power play and by getting you to OBEY, he keeps the upper (alcoholic) hand.

So, do you have friends and family close by that you can spend time with to keep your mind off his shenanigans? Glad you are here. Keep coming back and reading people's posts and soon you will see that you are not the only one going through this.
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