Originally Posted by
JW123 
... THEN.....out of the blue and after a business trip I had been on, he tells me he is an emotional mess, needs a break for a few weeks, he tells me that he loves me and does not want to break up with me but he has to know that he is 100% committed to me in order to go forward. He says that the hurt from his divorce is crippling him again (he has been separated 2 years and divorced for 6 months). I dont know what is going on, he has shut down completely saying that I need to be patient with him as he does love me.... He only seems to have withdrawn from me - not his friends and family.
He knows he's an emotional mess? Really? What has he done about it? Is he seeing a counselor? Talking to a minister?
His divorce is 'crippling' him? Again, what has he done about it? Counseling? He's willing to go through life being crippled? And is it his divorce 'crippling' him, or the alcohol? How is being crippled affecting his life? Is he still working? Not crippled there. Still hanging out with family and friends? Not crippled there. Just seems to be crippled in relationship with you.
He wants a 'break' for a few weeks, but doesn't want to break up with you? He's shut down, but begs you to be patient with him? This is nonsense.
This is not love. If he loved you he wouldn't want to hurt you. And he wouldn't risk losing you. He's willing to take the risk, because when it's all said and done, you aren't that important to him. Unlike his friends and family with whom he's still hanging around with.
You are being tested and groomed. What is she willing to put up with? What can I get away with? Is she going to be a good patsy? Will she put my needs before hers?