...in my opinion the answer is yes. In your short post it seems to me you kind of get it. You go to Al-Anon (I suggest going to many different meetings until you find ones that work for you), you get a sponsor, and you work the steps.
As to your boyfriend? It's your call based on what you know and what you are willing to risk. Al-anon will help you work through decisions like that. Ask me today and I'll tell you I'm very happy I took my wife back. Ask me tomorrow and I might tell you it was the worst decision I ever made. That said, I'm nearing the end of my rope and if she relapses again it may be the end.
Good luck!
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
nicam 
So, I've gone to alanon but I don't have a sponsor or anything. I guess what I'm wondering is how do WE recover? Do we have to work the same program they do? 12 steps and a sponsor? Especially those of us whose lives have been affected by addiction so heavily, and for so long... The steps seem like the most integral part of an addict's recovery but for us it's not so clear...