4mylittleones

My XAH has sought treatment through our local Addictions Foundation. I've been optimistic and hopeful that he hit his bottom a month or so ago and is finally taking the steps to get the help he needs.

He called me yesterday to ask about seeing our kids this weekend. I'm not going to keep him from seeing the children as long as I feel it's in a safe environment.

While we were on the phone he mentioned that he learned something interesting while in counselling last week. He said that when he tried to quit drinking the first time (Feb of this year) his doctor made a mistake because he didn't take him off Lorazepam. He's claiming that the addicted part of his brain was still addicted because he was taking this. I don't know if this is true, however my first reaction was to say that even if that is true it doesn't excuse the fact he hid his drinking and continually lied to me and put our children in danger. Then he said he's learning that an addicted person doesn't think the same as others and they're learning lying and other things are very common because of this.

I don't want to get caught up in his recovery again. I want him to get better of course, but I admit the excuses really bother me. When he makes excuses of why he's relapsed in the past it really just reminds me that it can happen at ANY time.

I know I don't have everything figured out yet, and it sounds like I will be learning and growing for years to come. I am so glad I found this site and although I don't post a lot I read other threads and really appreciate the wisdom of many people here....

Thanks for letting me vent. Any comments/suggestions are appreciated.