Hi Clara,
I think you were in a bad place. Lying, drinking, hiding and calling bf when drunk are all behaviors associated with alcoholism. You were trying so hard to act like things were normal with you when they weren't. Didn't want to face reality. Your boyfriend gave you a reality check! What he said WAS mean, but wasn't it the truth? In your heart you know the answer. YES it hurts! The truth always does. Perhaps he was sent to you to wake you up and make you deal with your problem.
Maybe instead of counting days until you can speak to him, work on yourself. Get back to the person he loved and respected. Don't wait for him to call you. If you truly have something going he will contact you again. You will be back to your old self and can make the decision whether or not YOU want this man in your life.
We all have lessons to learn in this life. Paths to follow. Instead of grieving the loss of this man, embrace the fact that you are back in recovery and are being the Mother and person you were meant to be. He doesn't validate YOU. Your are responsible in doing that for yourself.
I feel your pain. I know it's hard to be called names etc. I'm not saying I agree with his tactics. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. I wish you the very best. Please let us know how your journey is going!
:ghug3