Old 11-09-2010, 02:27 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
brokenheartfool
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 344
I think it's difficult to evaluate the situation from a distance, at least for me, but I'm a newbie to Alanon.
A few things to think about though, is why is your youngest daughter reacting so strongly? If she thought her sister was not being enabled, but only helped temporarily, then why such a strong reaction?
And the partner that kicked your daughter out--why? Why such a strong reaction there?
There's two people that obviously feel that 'helping' is enabling. You have painted a picture (pun intended!) of only helping temporarily, not enabling. Then why do these two other people feel so differently?
Obviously with the partner that kicked her out there are other dynamics at play. Still, was alcohol abuse part of that story? And if she's in AA, wouldn't the partner have then agreed to work with her instead of kicking her out? Seems things were far more out of control than can be seen from a distance.

Your other daughter has reacted so strongly, that I would investigate that further. Try to open communication with her again and really listen to why she feels that strongly that she is not only going to kick her sister out of her life, but her mother.

Warning though. Have you looked at this situation with your daughter in NYC long term? Are you going to be paying her rent/bills for an extended period? I understand this is her first real break with her solo show, and how important that is. But I do know that my brother ended up moving into my mother's house with zero intention of ever financially taking care of himself again. Something to think about is how long you are willing to offer this help. It needs a firm deadline.
Lastly, financials. Can you afford to take care of your artist daughter forever? For 6 months? A year? If you are going to have to suffer to do this, then you are not taking care of you.
brokenheartfool is offline