Old 11-08-2010, 04:39 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Cyranoak
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
In retrospect I was somewhat out of line...

I apologize. I could have made my point in a different way. You clearly, through my jerkiness, saw what I was saying.

I would clarify only two things-- your other daughter in cutting off contact with you and/or her sister may be doing what she has to do for her own recovery. She may be "controlling what she can." I believe the rage is a separate issue. The other thing is that, for me, I would expand your definition of enabling to include doing anything for somebody that they can do themselves unless they want the help, I can freely and purely give it with no personal agenda, and they are not manipulating me for some reason or another. You, of course, are the arbiter of this for yourself.

And I would ask only this-- is leaving artist daughter in New York the best solution for you? If yes, yes. If no, no.

Take care,

Cyranoak

Originally Posted by fullcircle View Post
I have been to several Al anon meetings and plan to continue to go.I am doing what I can do for my own peace. I was reacting to the rage I got from my youngest.I thought others might have had similar family problems. Of course, Cyranoak, I can only fix myself and it is best to look there first.I will look carefully at the points you make.Enabling means to me to do something that helps the person continue to drink. From where I am I am doing the opposite of that. I am trying to help her live,literally not to die. Her health situation is so bad she could die from this. She needs to continue to work on her steps as she has . She also needs a roof and a bed.Withholding help with this would be punishment.
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