I had exactly the same experience. MY exA stopped drinking after my staying with him for 5 years but 2 years later nothing had changed. Yes, he's stopped drinking but he was still the same person, still selfish to the core, still out for himself, still a liar, still would say anything for an easy life, still a user. I spent another 2 years being patient and thinking recovery takes time...truth is though all he had done was stop drinking, there was no recovery. I had to cut myself off completely in the end just to allow my head to be in some sort of sane order.