evenkeel

I've posted here about my wife and that's going much better. She's still working on things but overall family life has MUCH improved with her decision not to drink as much as she was. I'm very grateful for that and for everyone's help here in getting to where we are.

But now the issue is with my father-in-law. Health-wise he's been in bad shape for the last few months but it's gotten to the point where his alcohol-induced medical issues are very serious. He finally went to the doctor today, not so much for him but for all of us, and he was told that he has severe congestive heart failure, his liver's failing, his kidneys are getting ready to shut down and he's got a strangulated hernia also. The doctor apparently looked him in the face and told him he is absolutely dying. FIL is refusing rehab, says he'll switch to NA beer instead but the doctor warned against it because the DTs will kill him if he tries to do it on his own and we don't believe he'd do that anyway. Supposedly there's nothing they can do for him anymore unless the Lasix they prescribed makes a dent in the 50+ pounds of fluid he's retaining, and even then the doctor said the most they can probably do then is to prescribe pain medication to keep him comfortable in what's to come.

I have two issues here, and I think one of them is beyond the scope of the forum. Does anyone know of someplace on the 'net where I can get more info on what's going to happen with him health-wise, or a place where other people have dealt with this? Everything I've found on all of his medical issues talks about possible treatment for the problems or the underlying cause but doesn't say anything about what happens when treatment isn't possible or sought (progression, timelines etc.).

And what do I say to my wife? She's currently out of state for work and her mom will be telling her the news shortly. I'm afraid she's going to be freak out and want to come home ASAP but that isn't going to happen without jeapordizing her job and she's scheduled to be there 2 1/2 weeks more. I'm also worried about her dealing with this while dealing with her own alcohol issues. That may not be such a problem with being where she is, no transportation of her own and working 6 days a week but when she gets back...yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. She lost her uncle (father's brother) to alcohol in July and her grandmother in August, both anticipated deaths, and I don't know how to help her deal with facing yet another death in the family. *sigh* Any words of wisdom, at least?