Andrea, I am a recovering alcoholic/addict as well as a recovering codependent.
The drinking is only a symptom.
What you are seeing now is someone who isn't drinking, but still has the same mindset of an active alcoholic.
My disease is threefold-physical, emotional, and spiritual.
I had to address all three areas to live in the solution, and become the person I am today.
You don't deserve to be his emotional punching bag. If he truly wants recovery, he will do whatever it takes, and he will assume responsibility for his actions and behaviors.
Right now I see no recovery with him from what you have posted so far.
There's a huge difference between abstinence and true sobriety.