Thank you Freedom for those paragraphs!
Andrea...can I ask you what you're getting out of this relationship? you speak about this relationship as if it was a mutual fund or an RSP portfolio (i.e. "don't want to walk away after investing all this time and energy into him"). Walking away won't make you less of a person, and it won't negate what happened in the past. If you hang out on SR and read other people's posts, you'll discover that some SR members have been with their alcoholic spouses for decades...in the end, it didn't matter how much time, love and energy went into their marriage/relationship.
The fact of the matter is:
You didn't CAUSE the drinking
You cant' CURE the drinking
You can't CONTROL the drinking.
No matter what you do or say, he will do what he wants. You simply aren't powerful enough to control him. The only power you have is over yourself. So, what do YOU want out of life? Where do you see yourself in a year? In 5 years? How will you get there?
The point of Al-Anon and SR to a very real extent is to shift the focus OFF the addict and onto the single most important person in your life: you.
I hope you keep reading and posting here as much as you like. SR is always open.