NEOMARXIST

Gratitude is something which is such a priceless feeling and emotion and so difficult to describe. Drivng home I was thinking about things and then all of a sudden I had a real warm feeling of gratitude and sense of clarity and perspective. That beautiful feeling of gratitude is what makes it all worth it for me, it's worth more than a hit of booze or any other drug gave me.

I am 16 months sober today and I'm grateful for that. It's easy to get caught up in what everybody you're surrounded by is perceived to be doing and how busy everybody elses lives are. Or are they and is that neccessarily a good thing anyway?

It makes me smile listening to particularly girls talk about the Monday night out at the club and I know that there idea of 'hardcore' really ain't my idea of harcore. ha-ha. I shall be attending my local AA meeting and I know that it's much more valuable to be at an AA meeting than going to some club serving £1 drinks that they don't even go to until about 11pm. I never understood that and couldn't be bothered hanging around until 11pm to go to a club. I would at least want to go to pubs and stuff early before after plenty of booze and coke before hand. Saying that the reality for me was just booze and coke, I would rather just stay in with music and with people who really knew how to get wrecked.

I am so grateful for SR and without it I'm sure i wouldn't still be sober now, I may not even be alive. I have learned so much and got such great advice and experience from other alcoholics and addicts and I thank you all.

I still find it hard to understand at times how people don't see the point in taking drugs and have no interest, especially when they're out and supposedly getting wrecked. For me it seemed natural but who am I too judge? I no longer take drugs and have no desire to as I'm an addict but I still get interested in discussions about drink and drugs and am very knowledgable in this area and find it shocking how little people know about drugs. But I guess a part of my personality was always drawn to the mind expanding properties and all that and of course that wild side of my personality and music made it all of relevance and exciting.

I am a very grateful alcoholic and addict today and despite my mind racing at times and not being its usually quiet 'balanced' self I feel I have come through with greater clarity and perspective. I would have snatched your hand off 16 months ago if I could have known where I was now and would never have believed it. It all comes about 'one day at a time'.

For an alcoholic then a sober day is to be thankful for and I think it's so easy to forget this at times. I know when I have this gratitude I am at my most peaceful and serene mentallly.

I'm a daily work in progress but that's OK. I'm an alcoholic and addict and most other people aren't. That's Ok too and I can honestly say I wouldn't want to change that.

Peace and love