Blameshifting and manipulation is the name of their game, a game you can keep playing over and over again with unhappy results.
They blame you because they could never, ever blame the bottle. That is their first love.
I was told something once by someone in AA: "Your life revolves around alcohol as much as his and you dont even drink. You carry his load, his issues, his problems and take the blame for the downfall. You try to solve the issues more than he does and when you cant fix it, you feel like a failure. You even go out with him and his friends, in an alcohol setting, knowing you dont fit in and feel uncomfortable. Alcohol is the center of your life, just like it is his".
That was chilling to me and to be honest and turning point. It was true. Alcohol dominated everything not only in his life, but mine by me carrying this around on my shoulders, wanting to be miss problem solver.
When I quit carrying the load/issues/blame from an A and his family and friends, life became quit peaceful and sweet.
The blame game is a game I learned the hard way that I will never win so I took my dog out of that fight-and I havent looked back.