" we are looking to a spring wedding"
Of all the plans you could be making, it appears this is not the one that makes any
kind of sense.
You could instead focus on your own situation and how to make things right in your life regardless of what your fiance is willing to do. You have the power to stop the insanity for yourself. You just have to be ready to make changes,
Whether Your fiance changes or not.
Why are you living like this ?