...I have old girlfriends I legitimately like as people, and ones I simply want to physically connect with. I avoid them all, because connecting with them is a ticking time bomb for me. A couple of years ago while my wife was drinking heavily I almost became what I swore I would never be-- the other man. It started over a cup of coffee, we both were up to no good, we idealized each other as we once were and in happier times, and had we consumated it we would have destroyed her marriage and mine. Had either one of us been even slightly more aggressive I believe we would have holed up in a motel room for a week.
We have agreed that we can't communicate further. I love my wife and she loves her husband. We simply can't see each other.
Originally Posted by
SteppingUp 
OK, I just need a reality check here. I'm traveling in another state for business. I'm in a city where an old (25 years ago) girlfriend lives. She's married and we've kept in touch over the years. She has been a good friend during some tough times in the past.
I feel like I want to call her. Maybe meet for coffee. I'm trying to figure out what my true motivation is here. On the surface, I feel like I want to see an old friend who knew me when I was more confident and comfortable in my own skin. Someone who might be able to help remind me of the person I used to be.
Or I could be wanting to do this to somehow show myself that my W isn't the boss of me. It would be my 'little secret' that I could think about if she starts getting in my face. I know, it sounds so juvenile and petty!
It has been so long since I've trusted my instincts completely. Any thoughts? Thanks