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Old 11-06-2010, 02:32 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
smacked
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Stop while you're ahead! Please, don't go to an AA meeting with him, unless you're also an alcoholic wanting to quit drinking. His recovery has to be purely self-led and self-maintained. I know it feels like a friendly supportive thing to do, but just about the LEAST supportive things to do when it comes to this stuff is to try to help anyone's recovery along, especially when you're not qualified to.

He does NOT need your help to get or stay sober, I hope he's not making you feel that way, and please don't think that. In fact, the LESS help he gets outside of himself, the BETTER his chances of recovery success. I want to repeat that in a different way.. the MORE he has to figure this out, and implement his next actions, and the LESS he depends on anyone else to do any work for him, the BETTER chance at success.

You are a friend, and as a friend allow him to create his own recovery journey. Step out of the way.. don't rescue, don't hold hands.. for anything to work (if he even wants it), he has to take the lead and walk without you.

Maybe I'm being dramatic.. maybe my mind is jumping forward in a few months imagining you're still here totally sucked in to a codependent/enabling mess of a relationship, wondering how you lost yourself along the way. It's because it happens, so quietly.. so often.

Pop him back at his house, let him know AA is in the phone book under the "A"s, and go about your life as if this never happened. Sounds weird, I know.. but it's best, I promise.

Originally Posted by Dorthea View Post
Oops! I picked him up brought him to my place and I gave him some tea.

I didn't question the request, which in hindsight I probably should have. He said he needed help and without thinking, I responded.

My plan when wakes up is to ask him what his plans are. What does everyone think about that? I also thought I might ask him if he wants me to go to AA with him.
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