Originally Posted by
wicked 
If my husband filmed me while drunk, and then showed it to me, I would be deeply ashamed, embarassed and horrified.
I would also know that he wants to belittle me and make me feel less than.
I could do that to myself pretty well.
Felt worthless, useless, ashamed and hopeless.
Just my opinion.
Maybe some straight talk about your boundaries would serve you better and not shame your wife.
Beth
hi wicked, the idea to film him was not to belittle him in any way, though perhaps it might feel that way on "the other side" ie for the drunk.
my idea was that if maybe he could see himself the way i see him when he's drunk then he would understand how i feel and that no partner could be expected to live happily with a person exhibiting this behaviour. i thought maybe he is not even aware of what he's doing, what he looks like etc. while drunk, and if he he doesn't know then he doesn't know he's doing something 'wrong', except for me telling him a day later what he's been up to (which was then only second-hand for him). the film would have been a first-hand experience for him to realize the hurt he put me through and maybe make him think about it and ultimately make him feel he needs to do something about it.
well this was my reasoning and as it turned out not worth a penny.
i didn't want to make him feel bad on purpose as i know he already feels a lot of shame (during his lucid moments) because of his drinking.
but he's got a magic cure for that and that is to drink more.