...don't enable him, and don't allow him to establish this even one time as something that is OK and or status/quo. It is not! This is pure BS on his part. Your son, just like my teen daughter, does not need to be a pawn in their alcoholic parent's game. He is choosing not to parent, and wants you to help him appear to be doing the opposite while at the same time having contol over you and your actions while he does what is convenient for him. He is still manipulating you. This is not co-parenting!
I may be wrong, but I don't think I am.
Do not do the father's work for the father, even when he claims you are "keeping him from being able to do so by not enabling him (he'll label enabling as helping, and use it to guilt trip you about your son)." Also, you run the risk of teaching your son this is a normal interaction between a man and woman, and or the normal behavior of a "father." Just don't do it. You can't control his actions but you can control yours.
I say this as a husband of a alcoholic, father of a 15-year old girl, and son of a single mother.
Originally Posted by
jackthedog 
So my AH who moved out Oct. 31st, said he needs a couple of weeks to settle in to his new place, won't be seeing his son this weekend because he is going fishing, wants to start parenting next Monday but wants me to pick up our son from his house in the morning and take him to school, I teach at the same school that our son attends, then take our son back to his house after school, he will have a key to get into his house, then AH will be home from work whenever. He said he would compensate me in some way. I suggested son just stays with me at night to save me the trip to pick him up, then AH could pick him up at 4pm and bring him home by 9pm and also have every other weekend. At first I thought, "find your own way to parent our son and take care of him", but I don't want our 13 year old son left alone in the morning to get ready for school and be in his dad's house after school unsupervised for at least 2 hours. Anyone else have this problem? What did you do?
I have been doing all of the parenting anyways, so why change things now?